The Pony Movie
by Daniel Fielder
Summary: Earth pony, Applejack, goes to Hollywood to follow her dream of making people happy, picking up friends along the way, leading to the group being chased by Blueblood who wants to use Applejack for his own money making commercial schemes.
1. The First Screening

Here's an idea I've had for awhile, so please keep an opened mind.  
Disclaimer: The Muppets belong to Jim Henson and Disney, and the characters of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belongs to the Hub, Hasbro, and Lauren Faust.

* * *

**The Pony Movie**  
Prologue: The First Screening

It was a bright shiny day at Hassis studios. A cart came up to the gate guard.  
"Hello, I'm Flim." Flim said.  
"I'm Flam." Flam added. "We're here to heckle The Pony Movie.  
"Gentlemen, that's straight ahead." The guard said. "Private Screening Room B."  
"Private screening?" Flim asked.  
"Yeah, they're afraid to show it in public." Flam replied as the two laughed.  
They then went onwards.  
"Look at this place." Flim said. "What a dump."

In the screening room, Rarity, one of the stars of the movie, was talking to some of her friends.  
"Yeah, I know, it was great." Rarity said with a smile as a creature named Discord appeared.  
"Hey my dear, is this seat taken?" Discord asked as he snapped his fingers, and the seats next to Rarity flew away.  
"Hey you, bring that back!" Rarity shouted out.  
"Oh man, I'm so nervous." Rainbow Dash, another star said. "If I'm not funny, I won't be able to live with myself."  
"Well then, you'll have to get another apartment, won't you?" Twilight said with a smile. As Rainbow Dash smiled too at the joke.  
"You know, I heard that this movie is dynamite." Daring Do, a supporting actress in the film, said with a smile.  
"Popcorn!" A supporting actress named Fluttershy said. "Fresh organic popcorn, only a buck."  
"Oh honey, buy me some, please?" Cadence asked her boyfriend, Shining Armor.  
"Oh sure." Shining Armor said. "Nothing's too good for my mare."  
"Whoo!" Babs Seed called out. "This is gonna be awesome!"  
"Whoa, easy there, Babs." A friend of Babs named Sweetie Belle said.  
"Well I like the movie fine, so far." Flim said.  
"It hasn't started yet." Flam pointed out.  
"That's what I like about it." Flim added with a smirk as the two laughed.  
Applejack, the host for the screening and one of the stars of the film walked down as he was stopped by Miss Harshwhinny.  
"Applejack, does this film have culturally redeeming values?" Miss Harshwhinny asked.  
"I certainly hope so, Miss Harshwhinny." Applejack said before turning to her good friend and co-star. "Howdy Rarity."  
"Hello Applejack." Rarity said. "I tried to save you a seat, but someone took it."  
"No worries." Applejack said as she got in front of everypony. "Okay everyone, welcome to the first screening of the Pony Movie."  
Everyone cheered.  
"Now before we begin, I'd like to give thanks to everyone who made this film possible. Starting with the hair dressers to the costume designers and-"  
"Applejack, I don't think speeches are necessary." Rarity pointed out. "We can just watch the credits at the end. Roll the film."  
"Well I just wanted t'thank-" Applejack began when Babs began shouting.  
"ROLL THE FILM!"  
"Okay, okay." Applejack said calmly. "Roll the film!"  
Applejack then sat down to her younger sister, Applebloom, who had a red mane, a yellow coat, and orange eyes.  
"Hey Applejack, is this how y'all really got started?" Applebloom asked.  
"Well it's approximately what happened." Applejack said with a smile as they turned to the screen.

* * *

I know some of you will be angry with me mixing Muppets and Ponies, but I figured on giving it a shot, so don't be afraid to tell me what you think. Just please keep it PG.


	2. The Rainbow Connection

Chapter 1: The Rainbow Connection

Applejack was relaxing in her family farm as she played a banjo and relaxed.  
_Why are there so many songs about rainbows  
and what's on the other side?  
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,  
and rainbows have nothing to hide.  
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.  
I know they're wrong, wait and see.  
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.  
The lovers, the dreamers and me._

_Who said that every wish would be heard  
and answered when wished on the morning star?  
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.  
Look what it's done so far.  
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing  
and what do we think we might see?  
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.  
The lovers, the dreamers and me._

_All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic._

_Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?  
I've heard them calling my name.  
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors?  
The voice might be one and the same.  
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.  
It's something that I'm supposed to be.  
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.  
The lovers, the dreamers and me._  
As Applejack finished singing, she heard a voice call out for help. He walked up to the large river beside her house and looked as a man came by on a boat.  
"This is a serious call for help here!" The man shouted out. "You with the hat and the banjo!"  
"Yeah?" Applejack asked. "What do ya need?"  
"I have lost my sense of direction!" The man said.  
"Have ya tried Harry Fisher?" Applejack asked.  
"No, I mean I'm really lost." The man said.  
"So where do ya wanna go?" Applejack asked.  
"Out of this state." The man said. "I've gotta catch a plane."  
"Oh." Applejack said. "So you need to find the airport. It's just downstream."  
"Thank you." The man said.  
"Just watch out for the alligators." Applejack warned.  
"Right." The man said. "Wait, alligators?! Did you say alligators?"  
"Read my lips." Applejack said plainly. "Alligators."  
"It's just that I'm not used to alligators where I'm from." The man said. "You see, I'm an agent from Hollywood."  
"Hollywood?!" Applejack said in awe. "Did you say Hollywood?!"  
"Read my lips kid." The man said. "Hollywood. You know. The dream town. Hey, don't you ever see the movies."  
"Oh yeah." Applejack said. "There's a double feature in town every Friday."  
"Hey, wait a minute." The agent said. "There's an ad in here that you should be very interested in."  
The agent opened a paper and turned to a quarter page ad with the Hassis logo on it.  
"'Hassis studios announces open auditions for people seeking to become rich and famous.'" Applejack read. It sounded interesting, but it didn't sound like Applejack's cup of tea. "Thanks anyway, but I'm mighty happy here."  
"Oh, if I were you, I'd definitely consider this audition very carefully." The man said quickly. "You've got talent kid. I heard you singing. Come on. You could make millions of people happy."  
"Millions of people happy?" Applejack asked.  
"That's right." The agent said. "If you ever come to Hollywood, look me up."  
The agent then handed Applejack a card.  
"The name's MA Larson." Larson said.  
"Well, ya better get movin' t'catch that plane, Mr. Larson." Applejack said. "Well... See you in the movies."  
MA Larson smiled and rowed off.  
Applejack then chewed on what Ma Larson said.  
"I'd miss this old place but... Millions of people happy." Applejack sighed.  
She knew what to do. She got her cart out of the shed, made sure she had money in her pouch, and walked off.

* * *

Hooray! Applejack's beginning her journey!


	3. Rainbow Dash

Chapter Two: Rainbow Dash

After an hour or so of going, Applejack passed what seemed to be a billboard advertising something called "Blueblood's French Fired Frog Legs".  
"What the...?" Applejack asked himself. The very idea of that stuff always made Applejack's stomach turn. She'd never understand how humans could eat that fancy french junk.  
Beside the billboard, a blue girl with white hair, a blue jacket, and a purple skirt was talking to a construction crew, usually shouting "Don't step on the asphalt!"  
Applejack had to admit, this Blueblood guy worked quickly as the girl smiled and waved at Applejack who waved back.  
"Hey, you on the bike, watch out!" The girl shouted when Applejack looked up and saw a steam roller coming right at her!  
Thinking quickly, Applejack away just before the steam-roller turned her cart into a pancake. Applejack sighed and looked at her loan surviving nap sack as he sat on the sidewalk.  
"Phew." Applejack sighed. "That's pretty dangerous buildin' a road in the middle a'the street without any warnin' cones or markin' the thing off. If I hadn't seen that thing, I'd be gone with the Schwinn."

That night, Applejack arrived at a place called the El Sleezo Café.  
"Yeash." Applejack groaned. "I wonder what kind of food they serve. Doesn't sound very appetizing, but... a girl's gotta eat."  
Just then, a man was flung out of the restaurant.  
"Rough place, huh?" Applejack asked.  
"That is the toughest, meanest, filthiest pest hole on the face of the earth!" The man said.  
"Well why not complain t'the owner?" Applejack asked.  
"I am the owner." The man replied.  
"Oh..." Applejack said with some shock. "Uh... Sorry."  
Applejack went in and found that the place was made up mostly of tough guys, sailors, bikers, and such, and their girlfriends. Applejack walked up to the bar as a brunette woman turned to him.  
"Hey, sailor." The woman said. "Buy me a drink?"  
"Uh..." Applejack said as she reddened badly. "I'm not a sailor."  
"Ah, cut the small talk and buy me a drink." The woman said offhandedly.  
"Er... I'm a mare, and I don't even know ya." Applejack pointed out when a sailor came up.  
"Hey, you making out with my girl?" The man asked.  
"No sir." Applejack insisted.  
"He did to." The woman said. "He touched me."  
"Oh, now that is a completed myth!" Applejack insisted.  
"A what?" The man asked.  
"A myth!" Applejack repeated. "Myth!"  
"Yes?" A blond woman in a black shoulder-less dress and red boa asked as she walked up.  
"What the hay?" Applejack asked.  
"That happens a lot." The man said.  
Just then, a man's voice shouted out, "Show time! Show time at the El Sleezo!"  
Applejack took a look at the stage.  
"And now, filling in for the vacationing El Sleezo dancing girls, the funny, fabulous, Rainbow Dash!"  
Just then, the curtains opened to reveal an eighteen-year-old Pegasus mare with a blue coat and rainbow hair to only one man clapping his hands together... To kill a fly.  
"Thank you, ladies and germs!" The mare, Rainbow Dash called out. "You're a great crowd. Here I am, Rainbow Dash, here to tell you jokes both old and great in a flash!"  
Everyone already began booing the poor kid.  
"Well, let's start things up with a bang." Rainbow Dash said as someone shot at her and missed. "Thanks for that, sir."  
"This girl's lost." Applejack groaned.  
"Maybe he should try Harry Fisher." A waiter said.  
"Good grief." Applejack groaned. "What a weak running gag."  
"Uh..." Rainbow Dash continued, finally feeling the stress apparently. "There was this sailor who was so fat-"  
"How fat was he?!" A very large sailor asked as he smashed a bottle against the table, and it shattered.  
"He was so fat that everyone liked him, and there was nothing funny about him at all, the end." Rainbow Dash said timidly.  
After that, everyone began throwing food at Rainbow Dash.  
"Oh no!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "I just cleaned up this room! I'm a professional! I've had three performances."  
"Do you know any dance routines?" Applejack asked as he walked to the stage.  
"Not really." Rainbow Dash said. "Do you?"  
"Play something snappy, sir." Applejack said to the piano man.  
"Got it!" The man said as he played the piano.  
"Now dance!" Applejack said quickly as the two danced.

At the window, Trixie saw the pony mare from earlier and showed her to her boss, Blueblood. Blueblood looked at Applejack's dancing and smirked.  
Trixie knew that Blueblood was happy with who she had found.

"Too bad the dancin' girls are on vacation." Applejack sighed. "The crowd's getting ugly."  
"You think this crowd is ugly?" Rainbow Dash asked. "You should see the dancing girls."  
After the dance was finished, everyone on stage rushed at Applejack and Rainbow Dash. They tossed Rainbow Dash over the bar, and tossed Applejack up as she was flung into wall.  
Just then, Rainbow Dash came up in a bartender's uniform and a beard.  
"Okay everybody drinks on the house!" Rainbow Dash called out as all the men rushed out excitedly.

On the roof of the El Sleezo, the men looked around confused. There were no drinks on the house.

Back at the bar, Rainbow Dash sighed and took off the fake beard.  
"Works every time." Rainbow Dash said with a smile.  
"Nice job." Applejack said in amazement. "Well listen, my name is Applejack, and I'm on my way to Hollywood."  
Applejack saw a lot of potential in Rainbow Dash and figured she just needed an outlet.  
"Hollywood?!" Rainbow Dash asked excitedly. "Big time showbiz?! That's always been my dream!"  
"Well they're looking for guys, so I figured, why not go together?" Applejack asked.  
"My car's right outside!" Rainbow Dash said with a smile.  
They walked outside and got into an old crème Studebaker.  
"Wow." Applejack said. "A Studebaker. Where'd you get it?"  
"My uncle left it to me." Rainbow Dash said casually.  
"Oh." Applejack said. "Is he dead?"  
"No." Rainbow Dash said plainly. "He's in Florida."  
"... Okay..." Applejack said with a sigh as Rainbow Dash drove off, followed by a mysterious black car that carried Blueblood.

* * *

Uh-oh. Now we get to the point of interest.


	4. Blueblood

Chapter 3: Blueblood

"Ya know, Rainbow, ya really do have a lot a'talent." Applejack said with a smile.  
"Thank you." Rainbow Dash said happily.  
"How 'bout you and me makin' up an act?" Applejack asked.  
"Nope, sorry." Rainbow Dash said. "I only work in the single."  
"Oh." Applejack said. "Alright."  
After thinking for a moment, Rainbow Dash knew that not working with Applejack may take her back to a place like El Sleezo.  
"Alright, you talked me into it!" Rainbow Dash called out. "We'll be a team!"  
"Yee-haw!" Applejack said with a smile.  
Just then, they arrived at a road block.  
"Ya better slow down for that, Rainbow." Applejack advised.  
"You got it." Rainbow Dash said plainly.  
They stopped and suddenly noticed that there wasn't any kind of road work to warrant the road block.  
"Hey, what's goin' on?" Applejack asked when a man in a white business suit walked up.  
"Hello ladies." The man said. "I'm a business man with a proposition. Let me show you something that might change your whole life."  
Applejack and Rainbow Dash got out and arrived at an electronics store with a television in the front.  
"Now this is the kind of chance you can't afford to pass up." The man said as he held up a remote control. "Watch the window."  
With a click, a television turned on, and the same man appeared holding a bright green carton full of frog's legs.  
"Hello, I'm Blueblood." The television Blueblood said. "Inviting you to come on down and getting some delicious French Fried Frog Legs right here at the sign of with the bright green legs."  
The camera then zoomed out to reveal two plastic frog's legs acting as an arch to the restaurant Blueblood was standing in front of.  
"Yeash." Applejack said in disgust as several blond girls in 50s waitress uniforms came out.  
"There's cheese legs." The television Blueblood went on. "Finger legs. Chili legs, barbecue, or if you want a snack, try a frog leg burger, on a bright green bun."  
Blueblood took the burger he mentioned and at some of it.  
"Yech." Applejack said as Rainbow Dash vomited on the ground. "That was terrible! That was the most appallin', disgustin', revoltin' thing I've ever seen!"  
"Yes, I'm a great businessman and a nice guy, but I do lack the skills of a performer, unlike you." Blueblood said.  
"Say huh?" Applejack asked.  
"He's right you know." Rainbow Dash said. "You are very likable, Applejack."  
"The Pegasus' right." Blueblood said. "You my little friend are gonna do all our television commercials."  
"No way." Applejack insisted. "It don't even make no sense for me t'be your mascot!"  
"Now listen, there's five hundred dollars up front in it for you, plus you'd be making this much every year." Blueblood said as he held up a huge wad of cash.  
"Let's go, Rainbow." Applejack said as he walked back to the Studebaker.  
"Five hundred dollars?" Rainbow Dash gaped. She never even knew someone could have five hundred dollars at once. "Would you consider a Pegasus?"  
"RAINBOW!" Applejack shouted, snapping Rainbow Dash back to her senses. "Right, sorry. Lost my head."  
Rainbow Dash and Applejack walked back to the Studebaker and took off.

"Hey wait!" Blueblood said before the two drove off. "TRIXIE!"  
Trixie arrived.  
"Follow those ponies!" Blueblood said as Trixie got in the car and drove off. "TRIXIE!"  
The car teleported back to where Blueblood was.  
"Follow those ponies with me in the car!" Blueblood called out.  
"Sorry boss, Trixie just got so excited!" Trixie said. "Hey, how about the pony with the hat, isn't she great?"  
"Yes, just go!" Blueblood shouted.  
"But you promised Trixie a reward." Trixie pointed out.  
"Later Trixie, now follow that car!" Blueblood said as Trixie drove off, with Blueblood falling into his seat.

* * *

And so the chase begins!


	5. Moving Right Along

Chapter 4: Moving Right Along

By next morning, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were relaxing in the sunshine.  
"It's a gorgeous day!" Rainbow Dash said with a smile.  
"Definitely." Applejack agreed.  
"Terrific day for a drive." Rainbow Dash added.  
"Beautiful country out here." Applejack said as she observed the road.  
"A pony and a Pegasus seeing America!" Rainbow Dash said grandly.  
"_Moving right along in search of good times and good news._" Applejack sang as her played his banjo. "_With good friends ya can't lose._"  
"_This could become a habit._" Rainbow Dash observed.  
_Opportunity knocks once.  
Let's reach out and grab it. (Yeah!)  
Together, we'll nab it!  
_"_We'll hitchhike, bus, or yellow cab it!_" Rainbow Dash called out grandly.  
"Cab it?" Applejack asked, since they were both low on money.  
"Just forget it." Rainbow Dash amended, realizing what she'd said.  
_Moving right along!  
Footloose and fancy free.  
Getting there is half the fun.  
Come share it with me.  
Moving right along!  
We'll learn to share the load.  
We don't need a map to keep this show on the road.  
_"Hey Rainbow, turn left when we come ta a fork in the road." Applejack said as she read a map.  
"Right!" Rainbow Dash said. "Turn left at the fork in the road."  
No sooner had she said it when they arrived at a fork in the road, with a fork right at the point where it split.  
"Turning left!" Rainbow Dash called out as Applejack stared at the fork.  
"I don't believe that." Applejack said in shock.  
_Moving right along.  
We've found a life on the highway.  
And your way is my way!  
So trust my navigation!  
California, here we come.  
Come high in the sky land!  
All palm trees and warm sand.  
_"_Though sadly, we just left Rhode Island._" Rainbow Dash said nervously.  
"We did what?!" Applejack asked in shock.  
"Just forget it." Rainbow Dash said again.  
_Moving right along!  
Hey LA, where've ya gone?  
Send someone to fetch us, we're in Saskatoon!  
Moving right along!  
_"_You take it._" Applejack said with a smile. "_You know best._"  
"_Hey, I've never seen the sun come up in the west._" Rainbow Dash noted as she realized they were driving in the direction the sun was rising.  
They continued on when they noticed a passing blond boy on a motorcycle.  
"Hey, Rainbow Dash, look ahead." Applejack noticed.  
"Who is that?" Rainbow Dash asked.  
"Let's see if we can give him a lift." Applejack added.  
"I don't know." Rainbow Dash mused. "He looks kinda tough."  
They stopped anyway, and Rainbow Dash turned to the blond boy.  
"Hey there." Rainbow Dash said. "Want a lift?"  
"Oh, no thanks." The blond man said. "I'm on my way to New York City to meet up with my cousin and his family."  
"Oh." Rainbow Dash said. "Good luck."  
They then drove on.  
_Moving right along.  
We're truly birds of a feather.  
We're in this together.  
And we know where we're going.  
Movie stars with flashy cars and life with the top down.  
_"_We're storming the big town._" Applejack said with a smile.  
"Yeah, storm is right." Rainbow Dash said as they got caught in a snow storm. "Should it be snowing?"  
"No, I don't think so." Scott said with a sigh.  
_Moving right along!  
Footloose and fancy free!  
Ya ready for the big time?  
Is it ready for me?  
Moving right along...  
Moving right along...  
Moving right along. . .  
_By that afternoon, they noticed a huge billboard for French Fried Frog Legs.  
"Maybe you better pull over for a sec." Applejack said, as she wanted to see the poor dupe who signed up with Blueblood.  
"Got it." Rainbow Dash replied, and he pulled to the side of the road.  
"Hey Applejack, that's you!" Rainbow Dash called out, pointing to the picture of a bucket full of fried frog legs, and in the center, near the top, was Applejack's face.  
Just then, Blueblood came out.  
"Get the picture, girls?" Blueblood said with a smile. "Miss Applejack, symbol of Blueblood's French Fried Frog Legs. Isn't that splendid? Just take a look at it."  
"All I can see are a lot of frogs with tiny crutches." Applejack said in disgust.  
"Now kid, don't you wanna be rich and famous?" Blueblood asked.  
"Not workin' for you, I don't!" Applejack snapped.  
"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash joined in.  
"Crutches?" Trixie asked.  
"Shut up, Trixie." Blueblood said quietly before turning to Scott. "I know we're a smalltime operation, but we're expanding... Like a frog."  
"Actually, that's a myth." Applejack pointed out.  
"A what?" Blueblood asked.  
"A myth!" Applejack shouted. "MYTH!"  
"Yes?" The lady from El Sleezo asked as she appeared from behind the billboard.  
"Whoa." Rainbow Dash said in surprise.  
"C'mon, Rainbow, burn rubber." Applejack said.  
"You've got it." Rainbow Dash said as he charged forward.

The car moved away, and Blueblood was outraged.  
"THAT'S THE SECOND TIME IN TWO DAYS!" Blueblood snapped. "Well, I've done my best with that boy, now it's time for my worst. Open the door."  
"No, you open the door!" Trixie shouted.  
"What?" Blueblood asked in shock.  
"Trixie is sorry, but the pony is right." Trixie said. "You're asking him to do something terrible. Trixie can't be a part of this. It's a moral decision, and Trixie will stand by it!"  
"I'll double your percentage." Blueblood said plainly.  
"Trixie will open the door." Trixie said a second later.

* * *

Oh, now that was fun.


	6. Can You Picture That?

Chapter 5: Can You Picture That?

As the two continued driving, Rainbow Dash asked Applejack a question she'd had since they left El Sleezo.  
"Applejack, where are we?" Rainbow Dash asked.  
"Well let's see." Applejack said as he pulled out the map. We're travelin' down this here black line, and we just crossed that little red line..."  
As Applejack talked, Rainbow Dash took a look at the map as well.  
"How about we take the blue line?" Rainbow Dash asked as he saw a line that lead straight to California.  
"We can't take that." Applejack says. "Accordin' to the map key, that's a river."  
"Oh." Rainbow Dash said. "My bad."  
"Wait, Rainbow, I've got a question." Applejack said.  
"Yeah?" Rainbow Dash asked.  
"Who's drivin'?" Applejack asked.  
The two realized that neither of them were paying attention to the road and stopped just before hitting a church.  
"Rainbow, where did ya learn ta drive?" Applejack asked, clutching her heart.  
"I took a correspondence course." Rainbow Dash said plainly.  
Applejack groaned as Rainbow Dash drove into the parking lot.  
"This looks like a nice quiet spot." Applejack observed. "Boy, it feels like we've been drivin' for days."  
"Yeah." Rainbow Dash said. "The funny thing is I'm still wide awake."  
"Me too." Applejack said just before Rainbow Dash passed out on the front seat.  
"Me too." Applejack said as she went to sleep too.  
They had been sleeping for a few minutes when jazz music suddenly came from the church, jolting them awake.  
"What is that?" Applejack asked.  
The two looked in through the door and found a huge band playing.  
"They sure don't look like normal church goers to me." Rainbow Dash said, and she was probably right. It was filled with various ponies. There was a mare in a brown desert outfit with a black mane and yellow coat blowing a saxophone, a pink alicorn mare on piano, and a white unicorn stallion playing the guitar. They walked in.  
"Cool it everypony." The yellow mare said. "It appears our morning melodies have attracted some wandering admirers."  
"Hey, who are you fellers?!" Applejack asked.  
"We are Daring Do and the Electric Ponies." The mare said. "I'm Daring Do. Golden sax to go with my golden tone."  
"I'm Shining Armor." Shining Armor said. "I'm low bass."  
"And I'm... I'm... Uh..." A white filly with the guitar began.  
"Sweetie Belle!" Shining Armor said.  
"Right!" Sweetie Belle said.  
"Cadence." The other mare said. "Nice to meet you."  
Another filly at drums, with a brown coat and red mane, screamed and slammed herself into the drums.  
"That is Babs Seed." Shining Armor said. "Show 'em what you do, Babs."  
"I want to eat the drums!" Babs Seed shrieked as she began eating a symbol.  
"No, no, no!" Daring Do said quickly. "Beat the drums! Don't eat them!"  
"Beat the drums!" Babs Seed shrieked and she pummeled them with her hooves.  
"She's not all there." Sweetie Belle said.  
"Down Babs!" Shining Armor called out. "Just sit back and cool down!"  
Babs Seed did so.  
"Hey, don't forget about me, if it's not too much trouble!" Another voice called out, and they looked up to see a yellow Pegasus mare with a pink mane and a timid. "Um... I'm Fluttershy. The band's road manager."  
"Oh yeah." Shining Armor said. "The road manager. We couldn't go anywhere without her."  
"So she's the mare with the contacts?" Rainbow Dash asked.  
"No, she's the mare with the van." Daring Do corrected.  
"Yeah, we're planning on turning this old church into a coffee house." Fluttershy explained.  
"With music by us of course and refreshments... As soon as we find a cook." Cadence stated.  
"It's gonna be nice and mellow and of course profitable." Daring Do said plainly.  
"So what brings you guys here?" Shining Armor asks.  
"Well you see," Rainbow Dash began. "Applejack was at a house of hers and MA Larson came along and-"  
"Rainbow!" Applejack groaned. "Ya can't just repeat the whole story. It'll bore the audience."  
"Oh, sorry." Rainbow Dash said to the people reading this before turning to Applejack. "But Applejack, the band wants to know.  
"Well then show them the script."  
"Oh right." Rainbow Dash said as he handed the script to them. "It starts here at chapter 1. You can skip the Prologue."  
"The Pony Movie, huh?" Daring Do asked, glancing at the title. "'Applejack was relaxing in her family farm as she played a banjo and relaxed.'"

By the time Daring Do had gotten to the point of the script Rainbow Dash gave it to them, the two had fallen asleep.  
"'The two looked in through the door and found a huge band playing.  
"They sure don't look like normal church goers to me." Rainbow Dash said, and she was probably right. It was filled with various ponies. There was a mare in a brown desert outfit with a black mane and yellow coat blowing a saxophone, a pink alicorn mare on piano, and a white unicorn stallion playing the guitar. They walked in.'  
"And that would be where we came in." Daring Do finished as he set the script down. "Not a bad narrative. Though it looks like Applejack and Rainbow Dash are more visual since it looks like they checked out."  
"Well now that we know, we've gotta keep those two away from this Blueblood guy." Shining Armor said plainly.  
"Too true." Daring Do said plainly.  
"Now what can we do to help them?" Cadence asked.  
"Well, if there was a movie or a fan-fic -" Sweetie Belle began.  
"Which it is." Daring Do pointed out.  
"We'd figure out some clever plot device." Sweetie Belle finished.  
"Like disguising their car so that it can't be recognized." Fluttershy called out.  
"Right!" Daring Do called out. "MUSICAL NUMBER!"  
The five of them then went to the Studebaker and poured all kinds of paint on it as they also sang.  
_Everybody's mother!_  
_Everybody's brother!_  
_I wanna be your lifetime friend!_  
_Playing to the rockets!_  
_Nothin' in my pockets!_  
_I keep it in the rainbows there!_  
_Whenever I have money,_  
_I think of milk and honey!_  
_Grinning like a Cheshire cat!_  
_I focus on the pleasure!_  
_Something I can treasure!_  
_Can you picture that?_  
_Can you picture that?!_  
"Hey Shining Armor, take a verse." Daring Do said as they continued.  
_Let me take your picture!_  
_Add it to the mixture!_  
_Spirit has a caption now!_  
_Really nothing to it!_  
_Anyone can do it!_  
_It's easy and we all know how!_  
_Now begins the changing._  
_Meant for rearranging._  
_Nothing's where it's at._  
"_Now the Eiffel tower's holding up a flower._" Daring Do finished with a smirk. "_Can you picture that?_"  
_Can you picture that?_  
_Because there's nothing out there you can't do._  
_Yeah even Santa Claus believes in you._  
_Deep down you believe me. Don't ya?_  
_Be a better drummer._  
_Be an up and comer._  
_Can you picture that?_  
_Can you picture that?!_  
_They continued their work and play._  
_All of us are winning!_  
_Picking and a grinning!_  
_Lordy but I love to jam!_  
_Jelly belly giggling!_  
_Dancing and a wiggling!_  
_Honey that's the way I am!_  
_I work hard in Texas!_  
_I go home to relax yes!_  
_I keep it underneath my hat!_  
_Aurora borealis!_  
_Shining down in Dallas!_  
_Can you picture that?_  
_Can you picture that?!_  
_Can you picture!_  
"_You gotta see it in your mind!_" Daring Do called out.  
_Can you picture!_  
"_You know it's quick and easy to find._" Shining Armor pointed out.  
_Can you picture!_  
"_You don't have to buy a frame._" Cadence stated plainly.  
_Can you picture!_  
_Can you picture that?!_  
_CAN YOU PICTURE THAT?!_  
_Loafer if you need it._  
_Don't forget to feed it._  
_Can you picture that!_  
By the time they were done, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were up and looked at what they made. The Studebaker had been colored rainbow and looked like a hippie bus.  
"Blueblood will never recognize you now." Daring Do said plainly.  
"Wow, I don't know how to thank you guys." Rainbow Dash said happily.  
"I don't know why ta thank you guys." Applejack groaned, looking at the eye sore.  
"Our pleasure, girls." Shining Armor said warmly.  
"Are you sure you won't come with us to Hollywood?" Rainbow Dash asked.  
"Can't pal." Daring Do said. "But when you get rich and famous, maybe we'll come down to visit and exploit your wealth."  
Everyone laughed as Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash.  
"Move it right along, Rainbow." Applejack said with a smile.  
"Yes ma'am!" Rainbow Dash said.

* * *

What the flying fudge did I just write?!


	7. Pinkie Pie

Chapter 6: Pinkie Pie

Blueblood and Trixie were driving down the road as Blueblood was on the phone with someone.  
"I'm telling you, this kid does everything." Blueblood said. "She sings, tells jokes, and she even rides a bicycle."  
Blueblood then turned to Trixie.  
"Trixie, find me two ponies in a tan colored Studebaker."  
Just then, two ponies in a rainbow colored Studebaker drove past.  
"Gee, Blueblood, all Trixie can see is two ponies in a rainbow colored Studebaker." Trixie said before realizing what she'd said.

As Rainbow Dash and Applejack continued down the road, they saw Blueblood's limo drive after them.  
"Rainbow, they're right behind us!" Applejack called out.  
"I know!" Rainbow Dash said agitatedly. "I know!"  
"Well how'd they recognize us?!" Applejack called out.  
"Maybe they recognized you." Rainbow Dash said plainly.  
"What'cha mean?" Applejack asked.  
"Well how many ponies do you know who wear cowboy hats?" Rainbow Dash explained.  
"Can't ya drive any faster Rainbow?!" Applejack called out. "They're gainin' on us!"  
"Nope." Rainbow Dash said. "This thing's going as fast as it can."  
They then saw an ad for Faygo with a rainbow colored motive.  
"Pull in front of that sign." Applejack said quickly.  
They did so, and Applejack was right. The Electric Ponies' paint job matched the billboard perfectly. The two ducked down and Blueblood's car drove right past.  
"Well that worked out pretty well." Rainbow Dash said as Applejack groaned.

Meanwhile, on the same road, a pink earth pony with a pink mane named Pinkie Pie was riding a van with her boyfriend and partner in her plunger business, Cheese Sandwich.  
"So I told my brother that just because we were sharing an apartment didn't mean I had to deal with his stupidity, so I packed up and left." Cheese said, finishing a story about his brother.  
"Wow, good for you!" Pinkie said. "Now... We just need a plumbing job."  
"Well no offense pal, but ponies are paying you to do something they can do themselves." Cheese pointed out. "It's a pretty small market."  
"Well that's fair." Pinkie said as the van accidentally drifted to the wrong side of the road.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash were driving down when they saw the van there.  
"Rainbow, look at that funny little ol' van." Applejack said.  
"Yeah, cute isn't it?" Rainbow Dash said.  
"No, I meant it's headin' straight for us!" Applejack called out.  
"Oh." Rainbow Dash said. "AH!"  
"We're gonna hit!" Applejack called out when he saw that the van was now gone. "We missed it."  
"Oh, you call that a miss?" Pinkie said as she plopped down from the roof with Cheese.  
"How'd ya do that?" Applejack asked.  
"I don't know." Pinkie said.  
"Oh." Applejack said.  
It was at this point that Pinkie began hopping up and down in the back seat.  
"You folk okay?" Applejack asked.  
"Yeah." Cheese said calmly.  
"Why are you hopping up and down?" Rainbow Dash asked Pinkie.  
"Because I'm hopping mad!" Pinkie called out.  
"Girl has a sense of humor." Applejack observed.  
"Hey, why don't ya join us?" Rainbow Dash asked.  
"Where are you going?" Pinkie asked.  
"We're following our dream." Rainbow Dash said.  
"Really?" Pinkie asked. "Well I have a dream too... But you'll think it's stupid."  
"No we won't." Rainbow Dash said. "Tell us."  
"Well, my dream is to go to Bombay, India and become a movie star." Pinkie said plainly.  
"You don't go to Bombay to become a movie star." Rainbow Dash pointed out. "You go where we're going. Hollywood."  
"Well sure, if you want to do it the easy way."  
"We picked up a weirdo..." Rainbow Dash groaned.  
"Huh?" Cheese asked.  
Eventually, they arrived at a small town and a car lot.  
"Hey, Mad Man Mooney's." Cheese said. "It's a used car lot."  
"Yeah, maybe we can trade in both these old cars and get one big one." Applejack said.  
"What?!" Rainbow Dash called out. "Trade in my uncle's Studebaker?!"  
"That's what she said." Pinkie confirmed.  
"Oh, when he comes back from Florida, he'll kill me." Rainbow Dash groaned.  
Everyone got out of the car and looked around.  
"Oh, my dear friends!" The salesman said. "Welcome to Mad Man Mooney's used car lot. Today's your lucky day!"  
"It is?" Applejack asked.  
"It is." The man said. "You see guys; you're driving the wrong car."  
"I am?" Rainbow Dash asked.  
"I wasn't!" Pinkie called out angrily.  
"I can put you in this German street machine for only 2,000 dollars minus a twelve dollar trade in on the old car." The salesman said as he patted the car he was trying to sell them, and the fender fell off. "Detachable fenders for narrow garages."  
"No thanks." Applejack sighed.  
"Iron Will, get out here!" The salesman said as a Minotaur with blue fur arrived.  
"Hey." Iron Will said. "Iron Will's the name. Towing the cars in the lot is the game."  
"Just move the car, Iron Will." The salesman said agitatedly. Iron Will did so.  
"Now seriously friends," the salesman went on. "Mad Man Mooney doesn't believe in all that dealing and wheeling."  
As the salesman was talking, Iron Will got bothered by a fly near a car that was priced at 1,195 dollars.  
"No, the price on the sticker is the price you pay and never more and never less."  
Just then, Iron Will swatted the fly as it landed on the sticker, which ended up making it read "11.95".  
"We'll take that one for eleven dollars and ninety-five cents." Cheese said quickly.  
The salesman turned around and saw it.  
"That's our five dollar trade in." Pinkie pointed out. "You owe us a nickel."  
The deal went down as Iron Will arrived with the keys.  
"Hey thanks." Applejack said. "By the way, we're all goin' ta Hollywood. Ya wanna come with us?"  
"Hollywood?!" Iron Will said as he rushed off.  
"That's weird." Applejack said. "He ran off. Well, move it right along, Rainbow."  
"Right." Rainbow Dash said as they drove off.

As the car went off, Iron Will raced after them with a suitcase.  
"Hey you guys, wait!" Iron Will called off. "I wanna go with you!"  
He sighed and began chasing after them. He really needed to just say 'yes' or 'no' instead of rushing off.

* * *

That was fun!


	8. Never Before and Never Again

Chapter 7: Never Before and Never Again

They made a quick pit stop at a carnival to stretch their legs and get a bite to eat. As they looked around, they passed a booth for a pageant for Bogen County.  
"It's time to announce the winner of this year's Bogen County Beauty Pageant." The announcer said.  
"You think we should take a look, guys?" Rainbow Dash asked.  
"Eh." Applejack said. "What harm could it do?"  
"Wow!" Pinkie called out as the runners up came through. "What women!"  
"Yeah!" Cheese called out.  
"Now before announcing the winner, I think we should thank the celebrity judges." The announcer continued. "Celestia and Luna."  
Everyone applauded.  
"You're not gonna believe who the winner is, folks." Luna groaned.  
"Oh come on now, Luna." Celestia replied. "It's their fic."  
"And here she is, folks!" The announcer called out. "The new Miss Bogen County! Rarity!"  
Rarity came out enamored and waved at everyone. She had a gorgeous white coat with a beautiful purple mane and blue eyes.  
"Oh thank you everyone!" Rarity called out. "Thank you so much! As a sign of gratitude, I'd like to sing one of my favorite songs as a filly."  
_Never Before... Have two souls met so freely  
And so fast...  
For me this is the first time,  
And the last...  
Is this an angel's wish for men?  
Never before... and never again...  
And where to find the words to sing its worth.  
This love was bound for heaven, not for Earth.  
This love was meant to light the stars.  
But when we touched, we made it ours.  
And could they take it back?  
No they wouldn't dare.  
Why should they take it back,  
When we're in love?  
To share with all the world,  
And fill the heavens above...  
With left over love!  
Never before...!  
A love that keeps on going on and on!  
To fill each other's hearts and meet the dawn!  
Is this an angel's wish for men?!  
Never before... And never again ...!  
Never before... And never again . . .!_  
Rarity then caught sight of the gang and went over to them.  
"Hello." Rarity said graciously.  
"Howdy." Applejack said just as graciously. "Congratulations on winning the beauty contest."  
"Oh thank you." Rarity said. "Though, this isn't my usual forte. I'm really an actress/model/fashionista."  
"Wow." Pinkie said.  
"You know, we're gonna be performers too." Applejack said.  
"I thought there was something that made us kindred spirits in a way." Rarity observed.  
"... Okay..." Rainbow Dash said. "Hey Applejack, are we still getting some ice cream?"  
"Oh yeah." Applejack answered. "In a minute."  
The others walked off.  
"So what are you doing in town?" Rarity asked.  
"Oh, we're heading west." Applejack explained.  
"Ooh..." Rarity said enamored. "Really?"  
"Yeah." Applejack answered. "I really should meet up with my friends though for the ice cream... Hey, wanna join us?"  
"Me?!" Rarity called out excitedly. "Yes! Yes! Just-just give me a minute!"  
Rarity then rushed off.  
"And who says city mares being excitable is a myth." Applejack sighed.  
"A what?" Rarity asked just before leaving.  
"A my-" Applejack said before stopping herself.  
"Trust me." Applejack said. "It was a weak gag."  
"Alright." Rarity said as she walked off.

* * *

Aw... The Nostalgia Critic is right. Two of the same joke being enough isn't a myth.  
Rarity: A what?  
Me: A myth. MYTH!  
Red boa lady: Yes?  
Me: Oh, not again.


	9. Balloon Travel

Chapter 8: Balloon Travel

Rainbow Dash arrived at the ice cream cart.

"Hello." Rainbow Dash said. "I'd like some ice cream."

"Oh, what do you want?" The vender asked. "Chocolate? Vanilla? Rum banana?"

"Raspberry." Rainbow Dash said.

"Whoa, buddy." The vendor said with a laugh. "I may not know you that well, but I wouldn't wanna be rude to you."

Rainbow Dash chuckled with the vendor.

"Anyway, raspberry for me, and an apple ripple for my friend." Rainbow Dash said.

"You got it." The vendor said as he handed Rainbow Dash the ice cream.

"Thanks." Rainbow Dash said.

"Anytime." The vendor replied.

()()()()()

While Rainbow Dash and Applejack were busy, Pinkie and Cheese were walking around when Cheese saw a few balloons as he looked at his wallet, and there wasn't a lot of money as he turned to Pinkie. The two were a sucker for balloons.

"Alright, Cheese." Pinkie said. "Alright. I'll get you a balloon, but you have to pick the color. Red or green?"

"Can I give ya a word of advice?" The balloon salesman asked?

"What?" Pinkie asked.

"Why not take both?" The salesman said with a smile.

"What a wild idea!" Pinkie called out excitedly.

"Yeah, a handsome guy like that deserves two balloons." The salesman went on.

"Oh, stop." Cheese chuckled in a way that meant the exact opposite of what he just said.

"No, he's right!" Pinkie insisted, not understanding Cheese's tone.

"I've got a bunch of girls coming through here; sometimes they get a bunch of balloons for their guys." The salesman said. "They go gaga for them."

"Gaga?!" Pinkie repeated. "I'll take the whole bunch!"

"Uh… Pinkie…" Cheese began as she felt that all the balloons were a little much.

However, Pinkie already gave him the money, and the vender gave Pinkie the balloons.

()()()()()

Applejack was looking around the festival, having lost track of the others in the crowd.

"Pinkie?" Applejack asked. "I wonder where he went. Uh… Rainbow?"

"Applejack!" Rainbow Dash called out as she came up with two ice creams. "Oh hey, Applejack."

Rainbow Dash then looked around.

"Where's your unicorn friend?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well I'm not really sure." Applejack said. "She said she was coming with us for ice cream, but-"

"Yoo-hoo!" Rarity called as she rushed to the two holding an enormous suitcase. "Here I am! Here I am! I'm packed! I'm packed!"

"I can see that." Applejack said. "What for?"

"You said I could come with you." Applejack said, confused.

"Yeah, to buy ice cream, not to Hollywood." Applejack said.

"Oh?" Rarity called out. "Well that's embarrassing. Please, let me come! I've been waiting all my life for an opportunity like this"

"Well…" Applejack said. She did feel like one more pony wouldn't make a difference. They still had a fair amount of time, and plenty of seats. "Sure."

Just then, Cheese rushed up in a panic.

"Guys!" Cheese called out. "It's terrible! Awful, all my fault, and we just wasted ten bits!"

"What?" Applejack asked.

"It's Pinkie!" Cheese said. "I talked her into buying me a balloon, and the guy that looked like Richard Pryor talked her into buying the whole bunch!"

"And?" Applejack asked.

"The balloons floated him away." Rarity answered.

"You telepathic?" Cheese asked.

"No." Rarity said. "She's floating over us."

Applejack looked up and sure enough, Pinkie was floating in the air, holding onto several balloons.

"Pinkie, what are ya doin'?!" Applejack asked in alarm.

"About seven naughts!" Pinkie answered.

"We'll follow you!" Applejack called to the rapidly disappearing Pinkie. "To the car, Rainbow Dash!"

"Yes ma'am!" The three then rushed to the car.

"Pinkie, we're coming!" Applejack called out to Rainbow Dash.

()()()()()

The group quickly chased after Pinkie, with Cheese and Rarity working together as navigators.

"Step on it, Rainbow!" Applejack called out.

"Yes ma'am!" Rainbow Dash replied.

"Now where is she?" Applejack said.

"Up ahead near a wheat field." Cheese said quickly.

()()()()()

Pinkie was floating along quite contentedly, looking over the world and God's creations.

"Oh, isn't this great?" Pinkie said to herself. She wasn't that worried since she had practiced free falling as a filly. "Here I am, floating in space… Or the air, rather. Either way, this is the place to be! WHOOPEE!"

()()()()()

Down below, Applejack got a look at Pinkie as he began floating off due to the wind.

"Rainbow, bare left!" Applejack called out.

"Got it!" Wedge asked.

()()()()()

Pinkie was still in the sky as she saw the car driving by, looking like a toy.

"Wow, look at our little car down there!" Pinkie called out. "It's like flying! Oh wait, it is flying."

Just then, Pinkie noticed another car following theirs.

"Hey, who are those guys?" Pinkie wondered to herself.

()()()()()

Back on the ground, Trixie and Blueblood were following the car as Trixie looked up with binoculars.

"Hey Blueblood, isn't that the pony up there?" Trixie was having trouble getting a clear look at the figure, and she didn't notice the color of her coat until after she had already asked the question.

"No, that's the pony up there!" Blueblood called out, exasperated.

()()()()()

Applejack and the others were so focused on Pinkie that she and Rainbow Dash failed to recognize Blueblood's car.

"She's caught in the cross-winds, Rainbow!" Applejack called out. "We're gonna lose her!"

"Oh no!" Rainbow Dash called out in alarm.

"I'm going to try and steady her out." Rarity said as the balloons seemed to drift back to the road, against the wind.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Trixie noticed Blueblood pulling out a riffle.

"Ah!" Trixie called out in alarm. "What are ya doing, Blueblood?!"

"I'm going after the tires." Blueblood responded plainly.

()()()()()

Rarity's plan had worked, and Pinkie stayed on course until the wind began working with them.

"Thanks Rarity." Applejack said. "We're okay now."

"Phew." Rarity said.

"Wait a minute!" Applejack said. "I think she's beginning to come down. Stay with her, Rainbow!"

"Right!" Rainbow Dash called out.

"She's right above us!" Cheese said as he opened the top of the car up.

"She's okay." Applejack sighed.

"Yeah, hi Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash said as he opened the door.

"RAINBOW, GET BACK IN HERE!" Applejack shouted.

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I said get back-" Applejack began, but too late. The car slammed into a billboard for a pie factory, launching a pie filled with whipped cream into the air as it landed on a car just behind them.

()()()()()

Trixie was so caught off guard by the pie flying at them that he broke right there as it landed right on the car, covering it in whipped cream as Blueblood's shot went wild, obliterating all but two of the balloons Pinkie was holding onto as he began literally falling.

()()()()()

"Oh… Crud!" Pinkie called out as she fell, getting caught telekinetically by Rarity and gently set into the car.

"Gun it, Rainbow." Applejack said, having noticed Blueblood's car when he looked at the pie crashing into it.

"Yes ma'am!" Rainbow Dash called out, and they drove off.

"Well, that was fun." Pinkie said happily.

"Is she coming with us too?" Rarity asked.

Everyone nodded, sighing with relief about the rather nerve raking day being over.

()()()()()

Back at the stopped car, Blueblood was yelling at the top of his lungs.

"COME BACK, YOU!" Blueblood called out. "NO PONY'S GONNA MAKE A MONKEY OUT OF ME!"

Trixie sighed and had some of the whipped cream, which wasn't half bad.

()()()()()

Back at the carnival, several girls in bathing suits rushed out of the changing tent as Iron Will rushed out as well.

"Iron Will's just gotta catch up with those guys!" Iron Will remarked as he rushed down the road.

* * *

And so that's the end of that chapter. Sorry it took so long. I kinda got busy with other things.


	10. I Hope That Something Better Comes Along

Chapter 9: I Hope That Something Better Comes Along

As the group continued to drive on, Pinkie turned to everypony.

"Thanks for saving me, everypony!" Pinkie said happily. "I do miss the balloons though."

"Okay." Rarity said nervously.

"Oh brother." Rainbow groaned.

"Um..." Rarity said as she looked around. "Why don't we stop somewhere for the night and have a quiet little dinner?"

"Terrific!" Pinkie said enthusiastically. "I know this great place in Fillydelphia!"

"Uh... I mean along the way." Rarity pointed out.

"Oh." Pinkie said, her eagerness deflating slightly. "My mistake."

"Well, that might be nice." Applejack agreed.

()()()()()

Stopping at the first restaurant they saw, the group split up to give each of them some room to breathe after spending several days stuck in the car. As such, Applejack and Rarity had a table all their own outside on a porch in sight of a crescent moon.

"Huh." Applejack mused. "Woulda thought they'd reserve this here table for a couple or somethin'."

"Yes." Rarity said plainly. "So, did the waiter arrive while I was in the lavatory?"

"Yep." Applejack said. "I even ordered us some wine t'celebrate the trip being two thirds over."

"Oh, that is marvelous news!" Rarity said excitedly.

"Hey waiter?" Applejack called out

The waiter, a slim man with graying hair came up.

"Yes?" The waiter asked impatiently. He seemed to have either had a rough night or was just unpleasant by nature. "May I help you?"

"Uh..." Applejack said, caught off-guard by his rudeness. "The wine, please?"

The waiter looked at the basket the wine was in and pulled it out and showed it to Rarity.

"I think you got the wrong bottle, darling. The label says it's champagne." Rarity said with a kind smile.

"Not exactly." The waiter said plainly. "Sparkling Marceltell. One of the finest wines of Idaho."

"Uh, you may serve us now, please." Applejack said, unsure of how restaurants like this worked.

"Oh, may I?" The waiter asked sarcastically.

He then quickly undid the wrapping.

"Look how he does that." Rarity said, apparently just as impressed with Applejack over how he undid the wrapping around the nozzle since neither had ever really had champagne before.

"Yeah, very fancy." Applejack agreed.

The waiter then tossed the wrapping away and undid the top with a bottle opener. He then held the cap to Applejack.

"Don't you want to smell the bottle cap?" The waiter asked.

"Oh." Applejack exclaimed as he sniffed the cap. "Smells alright."

"Would you like to taste it first?" The waiter asked.

"Uh..." Applejack said as she didn't have the money to afford another bottle as Rarity turned to her.

"I think he's supposed to." Rarity whispered in her ear.

"Oh." Applejack said with relief. "Uh, would ya taste it for us, please?"

The waiter rolled his eyes and took a sip from a spare glass and quickly spit it out.

"Excellent choice." The waiter said robotically.

"It oughta be for ninety-five cents." Applejack told Rarity, which impressed her to no end.

The waiter then poured out two glasses with the wine.

"Oh, may we have straws please?" Applejack asked.

"Yes." The waiter said. "I expected that."

The waiter then unwrapped a pair of straws and placed one in each glass.

"Thank ya." Applejack said sincerely. "That'll be all for now."

"Oh, thank you!" The waiter said dramatically as he bowed down. "Thank you very much! Thank you."

He then left, leaving the two alone.

"That feller was weird." Applejack noted as Rarity nodded. "Drink up."

The two drank the wine as it tasted like a generic, carbonated juice as the two sat there.

"Not too bad." Rarity noted.

"Thank ya." Applejack said just as a voice rang out.

"Rarity?" The waiter called out in general. "Rarity?!"

The waiter walked out to their table.

"You Rarity?" The waiter asked.

"Yes." Rarity asked confusedly.

"Telephone." The waiter said as he walked off.

"Oh." Rarity said as she got up. "Applejack, I placed a call to my agent. It'll just take one teeny-tiny moment. Please don't leave without me."

"No worries." Applejack said calmly as Rarity headed for the desk.

()()()()()

Half an hour after Rarity left, Applejack was still waiting at the table, unsure of what to do as she heard piano music from almost nowhere as he followed it to find an orange mare with a fiery mane playing the piano.

"Evening." The mare said. "The name's Sunset Shimmer. Sit yourself down."

"Thanks." Applejack said as he sat down in a chair. "I'm Applejack."

"Pleased to meet you." Sunset said, not missing a beat on the piano. "I'm not the best, but I get by."

"It was very nice." Applejack said sincerely as an idea popped into her head. "Say, what do ya say y'all come with me and my pals t'Hollywood?"

"What, really?" Sunset asked as her eyes widened until Applejack could see the whites all around the irises.

"Yep." Applejack said, sure none of the others would mind.

"Pal, I'd owe you so much!" Sunset exclaimed excitedly. "Please, let me audition for it, just so you don't regret it."

"Okay..." Applejack agreed, despite feeling it was a rather pointless way to include another musical number.

_You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em._

_There's somethin' irresistabullish about 'em._

_We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long._

_I hope that somethin' better comes along._

_It's no good complainin', and pointless to holler._

_If she's a beauty she'll get under your collar._

_She made a monkey out of old King Kong,_

_I hope that somethin' better comes along._

_Still, it's fun when they're fetchin'_

_And agree to see an etchin'_

_That you keep at your little pad._

_There is no solution, it's part of evolution,_

_You'll soon hear the souls,_

_The little feet of tadpoles!_

"What?" Applejack asked.

"Metaphor." Sunset explained.

_There's no limitation to mixin' and matchin'_

_Some get an itchin' for a critter they've been scratchin'_

_A skunk was badgered the results were strong._

_I hope that somethin' better,_

_I hope that somethin' better,_

_I hope that somethin' better comes along._

"Phone call for Applejack!" The waiter called out as he walked over to the duo. "You Applejack?"

"Yeah." Applejack admitted.

"Telephone." The waiter said as Applejack walked over and took it.

"Well, guess only time will tell now." Sunset said to herself as she went for her dinner break.

As Applejack grabbed the phone, he heard noise from the street and wondered who could be calling as everypony was in the restaurant.

"Hello?" Applejack asked.

"Applejack, hang up!" Rarity's voice called out from the phone. "Hurry! Hur-"

"Rarity, is that you?!" Applejack called out in alarm as her eyes widened, and she quickly realized she was set up and wasn't at all surprised to hear Blueblood on the other end of the phone just as Rarity was cut off.

"Yes, that's her." Blueblood said calmly. "And this is Blueblood. Now you listen, pony and listen well. Step outside the restaurant, right now. My guys will meet you there.

"Well what if I don't?" Applejack asked, trying to sound braver than she felt.

"Then your friend will be glue and marshmallows." Blueblood said as Applejack heard Rarity continue to struggle.

"Applejack, don't do it!" Mara said. "Forget about me, get out of here! Don't-"

The line went dead as Applejack distinctly heard Blueblood hang up, fuming over the gloating laughter she was sure Blueblood was doing right now.

With no other option, Applejack walked out of the back of the restaurant as Blueblood ordered. Just as she closed the door, several men pointed guns at her.

"So, you the guys I'm supposed t'meet?" Applejack asked coolly.

* * *

And thus, the plot thickens... When we're already two thirds through it. Also, yes, I know with MLP I can get away with slash, but this isn't a romance story, so I'm dropping that part of the plot. It's not even all that important.


	11. Professor Cinch

Chapter 10: Professor Cinch

At a barn just out of town, Applejack and Rarity were tied up as Blueblood chuckled when Trixie arrived.

"The professor's here, Blueblood." Trixie said in a less than enthused tone.

"Well show her in." Blueblood said enthusiastically as he appeared to already think he'd won.

"Applejack, I'm not a bit worried." Rarity told Applejack in a whisper. "I know that between the two of us, we'll think of some way out of this."

"Well, I got us this far, didn't I?" Applejack said, so nervous he wasn't exactly sure what he was saying.

Rarity just turned to Applejack incredulously.

Just then, a slender woman in square glasses, a blue blouse, and a purple skirt came in and shook Blueblood's hand.

"So good to see you again, Blueblood." The woman said.

"Professor Cinch." Blueblood said. "Great to see you again, too. How's work?"

"It's doing fine." Cinch said simply. "So where's my victim." She then did a mock gasp and added, "I mean patient."

"Right over here, Professor." Blueblood said as he led Cinch to Rarity and Applejack. "Let me introduce you to your patient. Applejack."

Cinch began examining Luke.

"Professor Cinch's the world's leading expert on mind control." Blueblood said smugly.

"It's a very rapidly growing field." Cinch agreed in the same calm voice as always. "And I always enjoy a challenge."

"Tell us what you're going to do to Applejack." Blueblood remarked.

"Well, we're going to perform an electronic cerebractomy." Cinch said plainly.

"Huh?" Everyone asked.

"A little procedure I made up myself." Cinch explained.

"So what's that?" Blueblood asked.

"Let me show you." Cinch continued. "Ladies, bring in the machine."

The girls wheeled in a machine with what looked like an electric chair attached to a computer device.

"This device utilizes both electro-shock therapy and electronic hypnosis to turn the occupant's brains into little more than guacamole."

Cinch and Blueblood then chuckled darkly.

"Maybe we can try pulling out of this." Applejack told Rarity.

"Good idea." Rarity remarked as Applejack tried to break free, but the ropes were so tight, she couldn't get the proper momentum to break out of them. Rarity, however, used her unicorn magic to begin loosening her bonds. "Don't worry. We just have to keep trying."

"Now, we take your friend, Miss Applejack, clamp on the terminals, drop the electric hat onto her, and throw the switch." Cinch went on.

Cinch turned the switch on for show as a blue light showed on the device and the metal hat connected to it.

"Once that's done, Miss Applejack will then be reprogrammed to do your bidding."

"Perfect." Blueblood said with a smirk as he and Cinch shook hands again. "We'll leave you to it. Trixie?"

The two walked off as Blueblood turned back.

"I'll be back later to pick up what's left of Miss Applejack." Blueblood said with a sneer as Trixie looked more and more uncomfortable.

"Alright, bring over Miss Applejack." Cinch said after Blueblood and Trixie had left, and Applejack was untied and forced over to the chair, with her hat taken away.

"Applejack, whatever happens next, I'll never give up tonight for anything in the world!" Rarity called out dramatically as she was already loosening the bonds around her ankles.

"Uh... Why?" Applejack asked, not getting the gag as she was strapped into the machine while Cinch chuckled.

"You can struggle all you want, Miss Applejack." Nala Se remarked, still not even slightly raising her voice. "It'll do you very little good."

Cinch then pushed a button as the electric hat was lowered onto her head.

"Soon, there'll be enough voltage coursing through your brain to light up New York City." Cinch remarked with an evil grin.

"Let him go!" Rarity called out.

"Say good-bye to your friend, madam." Cinch remarked.

"Why should I?" Rarity asked.

"Because in a few moments, she won't know you from the Last Unicorn." Cinch said plainly as Rarity smiled.

"Indeed?" Rarity asked as she stood up and tossed the ropes away.

She then kicked Cinch away from the switch and began tossing the girls around the room, rendering almost everyone unconscious. However, while Rarity was fighting, Cinch had recovered and was reaching for the switch.

"Oh no!" Applejack called out. Rarity turned around and knocked Cinch back into the machine as a short circuit freed Applejack.

"Run, Applejack!" Rarity called out.

"Oh thank ya!" Applejack sighed in relief as they rushed out as Cinch tried to get up, accidentally throwing the switch as she tried to lift herself up, frying her own brains in the process.

"So, where'd ya learn t'fight like that?" Applejack asked.

"My parents had me enroll in a self-defense class as a filly." Rarity explained. She then looked around.

"Well, shall we go now, Applejack?" Rarity asked. "I'm sure the others are worried about us."

Just then, a phone rang.

"The heck?!" Both of them asked as Applejack answered it.

"Hello?" Applejack answered as he held the phone to Rarity.

"It's for you, Rarity." Applejack said. "It's your agent."

"Oh." Rarity said. "Thank you."

Rarity then took the receiver.

"So Marty, what've you got?" Rarity asked. "A commercial? How much? Okay."

Rarity hung up and went to Applejack.

"Um…" Rarity said. "You'll probably wanna go ahead without me. There's a job that's going to pay me well, but it'll keep me in town a few more days than the whole group can afford, and I'll catch up to you, okay?"

Applejack just stared blankly at her.

"Well…" Rarity said, aware that Applejack didn't really think she was coming back. "Bye."

Rarity walked off, upset with herself that she was leaving her new friends, but going on anyway.

* * *

At the screening, the film suddenly deteriorated and stopped showing as everyone at the theater complained.

"Hey, what happened?" Applejack asked.

"The film ripped!" Cheese up in the projector room called out.

"What do you mean it ripped?!" Babs Seed called out insanely as Cadence and Shining Armor had to hold him down.

"Don't worry Babs." Applejack assured him. "Your big scene is comin' up."

"Yeah, yeah." Shining Armor said. "Just calm down and eat something."

"Okay." Babs Seed said as he began eating his popcorn bucket.

"Well, that was easy." Cadence sighed.

* * *

Intermission time! Take a break. Read a book. Take a walk. Or watch the latest Atop the Fourth Wall. With how often this fic's been updated, you've got time.


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